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Jan. 24, 2023

Listen Because These Kids Have A Lot To Say | Andrew Spencer

Listen Because These Kids Have A Lot To Say | Andrew Spencer

S2 #12. Welcome to The "I" in Win podcast that is fast approaching 20,000 downloads, which is unreal to even be saying right now. Please continue to share the show with those who may find value in it, and my hope is today's guest is going to help us surpass that 20,000 download threshold!

So with that I want to introduce you to a former player, now assistant coach on my staff, and more importantly, a friend. You may know him as "Andrew S" from the Bachelor Series; however, I know him just as Andrew Spencer, or better yet, just "Spencer."

In this episode, we cover:

  • Lessons learned as a HS athlete
  • The life-changing impact coaches can have
  •  Unique dynamic of coach-athlete of different races
  • Why we need to listen & communicate more with our athletes

Follow me on Twitter (@LukeMertens) or LinkedIn

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Review The "I" in Win on Apple Podcast or my website to let me know what you think of the show.

Transcript
Andrew S:

I. Thought "I was the only coming in here to coach football and make this the best athlete. And obviously try to give him a little bit of, I knowledge on the way. But "I think it's, it's a lot, it's a lot deeper,

Luke:

Welcome to season two, episode 12, The "I" in Win podcast that is fast approaching 20,000 downloads, which is unreal to even be saying right now. So continue to share the show with those who may find value in it, and my hope is today's guest is gonna help us surpass that 20,000 download, threshold. So with that, "I, wanna welcome in, a former player. A now assistant coach with me, and more importantly, a friend. You may know him as Andrew s "I, know him just as Andrew Spencer, or better yet, just Spencer. So Andrew Spencer, thanks for hopping on the podcast today.

Andrew S:

Hey, man, thank you for having me. You know, the payment was, uh, it did hit the bank account, so "I, appreciate it.

Luke:

Well, let's start a little bit with who you are. "I, think it's really important to underst. Everybody's story because we all have a unique story, right? And "I remember, learning about your story when you played for me and "I didn't know it. "I think you were a junior in high school when you told us about your childhood. And it was a really important moment for me as a head coach to understand you, because our job is to meet our players where they're at. So take us back to the beginning and tell us a little bit. A snapshot of, of your childhood.

Andrew S:

Um, so obviously, you know, everyone's got their different paths, uh, in life and, you know, not everyone's, childhood is easy. Not saying that mine was harder than everyone else's, you know, "I don't wanna compare struggles to people. but it was definitely out of the social norm. growing up in a one parent household, um, at five, my dad, is incarcerated. and "I think, at that moment, "I became a statistic, uh, me and my brother. and you know, my mom just kind of having to figure out how she's going to support these growing boys. and you know, "I think she, she did everything she could and, you know, "I think that's led me to be who "I am today. "I think one of the biggest things that I've learned from my mom is probably. Even in like tough situations is to just kind of do things with a smile "I. Think "I never knew truly that "I was struggling as bad as we were because um, you know, we were always a happy family. Uh, we always had smiles, we always had laughter. "I think maybe, you kind of knew when you went, when you started hanging out with different friends. Like, okay, well, "I "I don't eat that kind of meal. Or you know, we don't, we don't have a basement or you know, "I don't have my own room. I'm sharing a room with my brother, you know, and, you know, "I don't get like new clothes. I'm not rocking heals that these kids have heals outta here. So, so "I, "I started to like kinda like. "I look and then, um, you know, "I think my mom did a really good job of keeping up with the Joneses and then having a smile all the time, we just kind of were blinded to it. But "I think once "I got to high school, "I think it really hit me. just how bad things were in life and, um, "I just, you know, it's a whole credit to my mom, "I, think she was just, You know, she's my hero. She's this incredible woman and you know, obviously, Being in those situations when you get to high school and college and your, your hopes are to, you know, buy your mom a house. It's always been the goal. It's always been the mantra for me. Um, I still working on it, you know, it's just a different path. But, uh, yeah, "I think, you know, it was a tough, tough, tough life. But "I didn't wanna share that with anyone else. You know, "I didn't want people to know that this is how "I was living. "I just wanted to continue the keeping up with the Jones' process, uh, that my mom kinda bestowed on us. It's just, You know, live as if everything's okay. You know, smile, and "I. Think that's what we did a little bit too much in your classes and stuff. you know, we, we laughed and had too many jokes, to where we're class clowns and not really, paying attention as we should have. so yeah, "I, "I, think, you know, like "I said, not easy, but no one has an easy life coming up. Yeah. And. "I, you know, when you have a great parent like "I had "I think, you know, some people don't have that either. And I'm just super blessed. That's how I'm gonna take it. "I gonna take it. And "I got blessed with one of the best parents in the world, um, to kinda just work three jobs, put us through sports, and then do it all a smile.

Luke:

So yeah, that's an important lesson that your mom taught you about smiling because the one thing, and it, it's taken me a while to get there. "I really believe that life is whatever we focus on. So your mom intentionally taught you to focus on the positive of life and walk around with smiles. And like "I said, you didn't even realize that maybe you didn't have some of the advantages that some other people may have had, which is an important lesson for us to take away from you sharing that with us. So, so thank you for sharing. Moment. And that, that personal story, because like "I said, as as a coach "I, when "I heard it, "I was like, wow. Because, um, you know, for those listening, I'll tell you that Andrew's not the easiest kid to teach or coach Okay. Uh, and "I mean that with love, of course. But when "I heard your story, "I was all of us as coach was like, wow, we, we didn't realize that. Yeah. And the other thing is we did the, the father son banquet and "I, remember you brought your. "I. Think he was your football coach, but "I know "I was one of your youth coaches. Yeah. And that was a really cool moment for me to hear you get up and talk about the impact your youth coaches, this individual. But let's talk about all of your youth coaches. what was their impact on you and why were they important in your life?

Andrew S:

Damn, you're gonna get me emotional. Uh, I had so many, um, like you, like you alluded to before, not the easiest to be coached. I, look at myself. "I was a somewhat of a child prodigy when it came to football growing up. "I gonna, "I might have peaked in fifth grade, but, uh, "I was so good and "I think the first thing, the coach that "I brought to the, the father son thing. Was, uh, Scott Stanfa, he, his, his dad actually coached for the nine, the 85 Bears. so "I would always, every day get stories about Walter Payton. And I'm like, alright, well first of all, this guy's, he knows, he's talking about, he knows Walter Payton, he's showing me photos. "I Walter Payton and "I played running up. So, The first thing he like instilled in me was humility. And it's be humble and "I. "I like to test and flirt with the waters a little bit, but "I like to call it confidence or swagger. And it's completely different from like cockiness, you know, what "I mean or arrogance. Um, now, but like "I had to be humbled and "I was not a humble child. "I had terrible manners. "I was, I didn't have those things that a father's supposed to teach their kid. "I and "I think one of the first things he did was that, and then after that it was just like I at Christmas with these guys. "I like they're giving me "I, got more "I, never got presents growing up. And when we had like two or three, I'm getting, like I'm talking about "I got more just as many presents. This is kids underneath the tree. And I'm like, this is absolutely bonkers to me. You know, like, why are you doing this? You know what "I mean? And. It was just, uh, it was just really beautiful. And then it's not just him, it was "I had multiple coaches like this, you know, TJ's dad. So once it went from like Scott to TJ's dad and then like they just kinda swed off to each other. It's like "I, "I can only teach you so far. I'm a white man. "I a black guy. Here you go. kinda thing. And there's a whole nother aspect that you have to learn about that "I didn't have "I.

Luke:

And let's, let's pause there for a second. You reference TJ's dad, um mm-hmm. you know, for those of you who may not know you or know tj, who, who was TJ to you? Who's TJ's dad to you?

Andrew S:

Uh, so TJ Edwards is my best friend slash brother. TJ's dad coached basketball when "I started playing basketball. it was just a coach thing, and then "I ended up living with them, towards the latter half of my, you know, adolescence life. so they kind of really, they really took me in, took me in, and, you know, "I love them after the day. "I call him pops. So like, it's like he's pretty much my dad today. and "I. "I, I've just been blessed to be, you know, given these great dads and great coaches and great men, you know, and "I think that's kinda where "I wanna be, as a coach heading forward, going forward.

Luke:

So let's transition to high school, and you were a great athlete in high school. So looking back on those moments, what was the best part of being a high school athlete?

Andrew S:

I think it was the, the, the regimen, the continuation of both practice. Okay, we have this, we have this, and then when you go into the next sport, you have this, this, this, like lifting all of it, man, like "I, "I. Can't tell you how much "I hated it, but "I loved it. Like "I couldn't imagine doing nothing for the, for that period of time. You know what "I mean? Like "I couldn't, like "I absolutely loved to hate on it, but "I loved being there. "I think being present in those moments with your teammates when your coach is building these different bonds and, and also going out there and competing, like, there's nothing better than to do that. Uh, and, and competing at every. The fact that as a kid, "I was allowed to play everything "I wanted to. You know what "I mean? Like whether it's football, basketball, baseball, track, you can go and play everything you wanted to and "I think that was. "I was icing on the cake for me. That's all. "I needed to get away from whatever was going on at home. Like "I could've stayed at the school for "I. "I would start my day at school from seven, eight, it was 6:00 AM with lifting. "I wouldn't get home till probably like eight cause we're probably staying after to watch some of the festivities going on in the school or whatever the case may be. So "I would spend my whole day there and that those are moments. "I will cherish forever because you know it. I got to bond with a lot of guys. I'm still friends with the same guys, so that means a lot to me.

Luke:

Yeah. It's funny you reference being at the school all day. We just had our meeting with our administrative team and we're looking at mapping out our summer schedule, which is always difficult, right. But with all the other sports and our principal just. Kind once we were done talking, he said, all right guys, let me, outline what a day's gonna look like for a kid who plays Malto sports. And it definitely is a long day, but "I chimed in and I'm like, look, I'm not denying the fact that it's a long day, but is that a great day? Like if you're an it's day, all right? If you're an athlete and you get to come in and go from sport to sport and be at the school that hopefully you love and be with your teammates, who hopefully you. To me that sounds like a great day. And you're right, that regimen "I mean. That's definitely what "I took away from my high school athletic days, is just the, the regiment "I embrace, embracing the work. You know, "I mean "I think that's just such an important part of being an athlete. Um, absolutely. But now we know retrospect. you know, but you look back and you could do things over again. Maybe you would. So if you could go back and do it again as a high school athlete, what's the one thing you would change?

Andrew S:

"I would be, a student athlete. I. Think "I. "I dropped the student part a little bit too, too much. You know, "I. "I got to where "I needed to get to. But "I think "I definitely would've been able to play at the highest level and. It just, you know, it pains me every day to just see to just. Just lack of awareness that "I had. And obviously, like "I said, "I didn't have a father figure in my household at the time, telling me "I need to be doing this, this, and this. and "I can't use that as an excuse cause "I still was there and you know, "I had the chance to, to become something. But, um, "I think it's just overlooked. You know, you could be as great as you want, you know, and I'll use my, best friend who played on a team with us, dire Clark "I, think we all can agree that he was one of the greatest athletes. I "I never go through that school. And had he been the student, um, I'm sure we'd be watching him play on Sundays right now. And "I feel like "I could be in that same conversation as well. "I think, um, you just kind of get caught up in a lot of the stuff that doesn't really matter. Distractions, and obviously "I would've been "I. "I should've went to a private school if "I ever known that there was a thing like St. Pat's. There's really no reason to fail when you're at a school like St. Patrick's. Cause you're there for one thing at school, your athletic abilities. And then like, where I'm at, when you're at a public school, you get in a washed, you're, you're, you got girls running around, you got You so much, so much. You got people who don't want be there. You know what "I mean? "I feel like when you go to a private school, your parents are parent, you're gonna be here. You know what "I mean? You have to be here. Um, and there's no reason to you. Distract "I feel like in public schools, you know, and "I wish it would be better. And "I love the free opp opportunity for everyone to get a, a fair shot, but, There's just too many people who don't care. And you know what "I mean and "I feel like you get caught up in that group of people who don't care and you're trying to balance that you care, you just get lost. So, um, "I, think "I definitely got lost in, lost a little bit, in high school. And, uh, "I Wish "I would've stayed more focused on my grades and, you know, "I and just a little bit more commitment to, you know, just me as a, my body of work, uh, as an athlete. But, you know, obviously you're not gonna know that as a high school kid. TJ had it. TJ Edwards was a kid that I. Wish he was older than me. I. Wish he would've been in my position. There was things "I taught tj, but "I think, he's probably one of the better mentors. You know, "I still listen to him today. "I think the best advice "I get is from him and you know, you mean the second best vice behind. Yeah, exactly behind you and the "I and win But, uh, you know, he's just, he just understands me more than anyone else does. And "I think, you know, having someone that can just kind of be like, yo, if you just did it this way or do it this way, you're gonna be okay. honestly, "I didn't have that from an older "I. "I gonna talk about this. This is important, players that can talk to younger players. "I "I. Don't think there's enough of that leadership. And it's not like, come on, let's go "I mean like, like talk right to, to, to the guy, you know, get to know what, what's going on in his life. You know, like, actually Care "I, think TJ is one of the kids who cared about me. You know, what "I mean, uh, as a person and, and whatever "I felt and like, that's why "I wish she was older. "I had "I gotten like a senior come down and talk to a freshman. You know what "I mean? And, and just be like, Hey, tell me about life, or tell me how you're feeling, how you're going through this. And that matters. "I feel like, you know, as men in this day and age, we do not like therapy. We do not like talking. "I feel like, TJ is more like a, a mentor slash listener. And for me that was huge.

Luke:

You know, the student athlete piece, it's really frustrating as a coach and you. Kids not taking the classroom and the opportunities the classroom will open up for them seriously. Right. And they think that just being a great athlete is the only way. And they don't think about the fact that your last game is gonna come no matter how good you are, everyone's going to have that last game, and you're still gonna hopefully have a lot of life ahead of you and your education's going to stick with you for life. And it's, it's something that a lot of, a lot of people miss, and there is no doubt that school choice, but you reference about like the private school versus the public school. School choice is really powerful. And we're not gonna go down that rabbit hole. That could be a whole separate. Conversation. "I am a big advocate for school choice, and kids get to choose where they want to go. They're gonna be more invested and put more effort into it. So definitely th those are very powerful points and, and thanks for sharing 'em. "I. Wanna go back to something else that you said, cuz it's something that "I think a lot about in my career. And you referenced TJ's dad. influence on you. And you mentioned that your youth coach said, Hey, I'm a white man, only so much "I can teach you. And then in comes TJ Edward's dad. So right here, "I am a white guy. And "I "I reflect on this, right? Like, right. What does, the white coach, coach in the black athlete need to know or understand to help that relat? Because this is important because you don't know what you don't know.

Andrew S:

Man. It's, it's so hard because it's not even like anything that coach can do sometimes. You know what "I mean? It's, it's sometimes it's just like when, you know, you know, or this is like a certain feeling you get when you see someone with likeliness. And obviously "I hate that that's the case, but it's, it's just kind of, "I we've grown to become as a black person. It's like you see someone that looks like you, fair-skinned as you, you're going to want to gravitate to them and you're gonna feel comfortable. You're gonna kind of feel safe And "I think my coach knew that there were some things that he could never really understand. You know what "I mean that, that maybe someone else might understand and "I think, obvious. "I just trying to just go and, and, and, and try to talk and understand. And, and "I wouldn't say like, coddle the player, but "I think, just kinda listen to where he wants and, or we'll listen to what he's really trying to say and, and trying to just open up your heart and open up your, your ears a little bit more, um, than you would say someone else. And "I think it might take a little bit more time. Um, and it's not, you know, like "I said, "I don't, I'm not a big fan of coddling, but there's just some, some people in. Some black kids in life or they just didn't get that sort of love or, understanding or, or someone to listen to them and "I think it's important to at least just take the time and just really know that, let them know that, that you're, you know, they're trying for them. And as long as you just continue to grow a relationship with them, whether it's jokes, whether. "I, "I, any kind of thing to just feel, make it feel normal and okay and safe for them. "I, "I. Think that's the biggest thing. And "I, that's why "I love coaching's because you, especially coaching in, in places where there's not a lot of, black kids or you know what "I mean, where there's just "I, maybe two or three and that's kind how "I grew up. But "I never had that one. Black coach "I can just like kinda, Hey, "I give it to me in this, you know what "I mean? Like, there's just like a different, it's like a culture thing. It's not a black thing, it's a culture thing. You know what "I mean? It's just, it's just kind of how you feel comfortable with talking to certain people. So "I think, um, "I love that part. And "I love being able to be that advocate for, For black kids as a coach. but "I, "I don't, "I don't think that that means as a, as a white coach to just be like, well, "I, "I need a black coach to come and talk. That isn't the case. You, you could still get it done "I. Just think it might be a little bit more than what you usually give to a normal, you know, kid, student, or.

Luke:

Yeah. Th thanks for sharing that. Sometimes that's a sensitive topic. "I don't think it should be "I. Think it's important to No, it's important. Yeah. Understand perspective, you know, "I think that's how, yeah, we all could get to a common ground. Um, and you know, "I, "I wanted to have Jan, not because we know each other, not because of the reality TV fame that you have. Because honestly, you're a really good coach. That's why "I wanted to have you on. So let's start with the why. Why you decided to. Throw your hat in the ring despite the fact you have all of these other things going on in life and, you know, you're having a lot of opportunities that a lot of regular people, for lack of a better word, wouldn't have because of your, your stardom that happened on tv. So Right. Why'd you decide to still throw your hat into the coaching ring?

Andrew S:

Man, "I. "I, "I. Always love football, man. And obviously the things that I'm doing, it's fun now. and it's very fleeting, man. "I, don't "I. Fame is not your ultimate goal. You know, you don't want to wish to be famous "I. Think, um, my thing is "I want to be doing something that "I love and "I love football. I've gotten to understand the game at a level that. "I think a lot of people have not, but "I think the fact that "I could come back and share that to, you know, kids or "I, even my past experience that might switch or alter them into be being the best versions of themselves. That's what I'm gonna do. Um, "I think that I've been so blessed with just the journey within football, and football gave me. "I "I, this reality TV show thing. So if you don't know "I "I was living this cool life, playing football in Europe, and that's how "I kind of got discovered. They're like, oh, you live in Europe, you're doing this, you're playing football in a whole nother country. "I was like, yeah. So "I, at the end of the day, I've always had to give credit to football, like. it somehow has my whole life. "I went to college football, you know, staying outta trouble through at like, young, young adulthood, football, you know what "I mean? So like people don't understand to have that consistent thing in their life. Why "I give it up? Like why, why would "I, why would "I stop? So "I wanna continue to coach, uh, because it's, it's become, "I my regimen. You know, "I get to continue to keep this regiment. And also just kind of give to kids who, may have a story or something like me and "I, "I, you know what "I mean? Where "I can just shake them a little bit into the right path. Doesn't "I. Don't "I. Little bit of straightening. Something came for me. "I. Remember when "I was talking to Jack, Jack Fuller, uh, kid on our team? "I "I when "I start hearing him speak the language of football and how "I talk. And I'm like, okay, so now like this is, this is what "I, "I, "I, I'm finally like getting home to some of these kids. And "I think that was probably my proudest moment, as a coach was just being able to, you know, have him come off in the field and "I like, Hey, what are you seeing? And he's telling me, he's telling me things that, you know, he didn't know in the summer. So I'm like, clearly this kid's been paying attention to listen. And "I can straight, like he's. It's working. What I'm doing is working and they're understanding it. "I think like after that, "I was like, you know, I'm, I'm gonna do this as long as "I can cause "I think that that was just a beautiful moment for me.

Luke:

Yeah, they're listening. They're sponges. You don't always know at that moment that they're listening. Yeah. In fact, you wanna rip the earbud out of their ear and you wanna get your eyes on me. But they're listening more than more than you think. And, you know, you're a young coach. you just had a birthday recently. I'm not gonna reveal your age. Don't worry, Uh, but, uh, you know, when you enter the profess. We all have this idealistic vision of what it's going to be, what it's going to look like as a coach, and we all enter the profession because we want to help people, which is what you alluded to. Right. With that being said, what has surprised you about being a high school football coach? That you didn't know it going into it, but now you see it now? Now you do know what? What were the, what were the surprises?

Andrew S:

Um, there's a lot that goes into the background stuff of it. Um, "I thought it was, Hey, we're gonna show up. We're gonna go coach. and that's not the case. and you know, you're dealing with, teenagers, they're kind of going through their kind of life and, and their journey. And you think everything is just all about football. As a coach coming in, you're like, alright, well we're gonna coach football, but that's not the case. You, you end up coaching. "I, I'm talking about grades with kids and I'm like, "I ain't the guy to be talking about grades, really. But at the end of the day, you start, you start being like, okay, "I understand. And "I can tell 'em like, you need this, you know what "I mean? So I'm talking about, I'm doing discipline for Ds and Fs and I'm like, this is crazy. Cause "I was on the DNF list back in the day. Like I'm, it's like full circle, but I'm telling them, There's a reason why this matters. Cause "I didn't wanna do the discipline when "I was a kid. I'm like, guys, you don't wanna do this. Well then do the easy stuff. And that's just your work. And "I think that "I was not prepared to finally understand like, why coaches did the extra stuff. I'm like, you don't got time for this. Like, why are you wasting your time? But it, it's all because, you know, You're trying to make the athlete and the kid better and you know, "I "I. Think "I. "I. Thought "I was the only coming in here to coach football and make this the best athlete. And obviously try to give him a little bit of, I knowledge on the way. But "I think it's, it's a lot, it's a lot deeper, you know, like politics, everything is just, it's like a whole little world, uh, coaching, coaching in, uh, in high school for sure. It's just, there's a lot of moving parts so "I think all of that is, uh, is a really cool experience. and just kind of like being around you guys. "I think, is definitely something "I didn't expect as well. "I didn't know what it, what kinda, you know, atmosphere coaching would be like. but now, you know, "I get it. "I "I. It's really cool to be around you guys and just kind of work "I working around you guys is, is, uh, it's bringing me back to being in a whole locker room again, so it.

Luke:

Yeah. So many coaches come in and, and they're surprised that the work it takes to be a coach and especially those who played the game, and then you start coaching and you're like, "I didn't realize that the coaches are here this much. Or they invest Yeah, this much time. And you're right. Coaching football at the high school level, sometimes. Football's the last thing that you do and there's It is, yeah. There's more important things that you are doing, which is why those officers who coach at the high school level, that's why we, we do it. Football isn't right. The platform, "I should say football is the platform, but that's not the ultimate goal. The goal is about impacting people, impacting lives, and that's a big part of what our job really is. And just listening, you, you said this throughout, Episode, like, listen to kids and, and get to know them. So with that said, you shared your story and now we know what the, we know who the young Andrew Spencer was and right now there's people listening that have a young Andrew Spencer in their class. Yeah. Or on one of their athletic teams. So what does that young Andrew Spencer, that kid need the most from? Teachers as coaches, the, the influential people in his life.

Andrew S:

He's gotta talk. You gotta find a way to talk. You gotta find a way to get stuff out. Um, "I didn't know how complex "I was until "I ain't gonna lie to you until after the show. where you do these little interviews and you just talk "I. Think for someone to just listen to some of these kids, whether it's another athlete you can, you know, have talk to someone, like talk to the other athlete "I. Just think these kids got a lot on their plate and "I think you do a great job. Especially "I had a note from one of the, from one of the players when we did the group circle. he talked about how you didn't love. and "I. Think one of the biggest things that "I got from being a coach was try to create fun for that kid and try to make him love the game and enjoy the experience here. And "I, the last letter he gave me was like, thank you for helping me love the game of football game and "I think, that's important. "I think he was maybe looking for that. A little bit of attention. In that small way and it flipped it and he had a great season. But that, like that little thing that we would've never known, he would've gone on. Just, just kind of pouting in a way. You know what "I mean? "I think it's "I. Listen to these kids cause they got a lot say, they just might not wanna say it. And "I think you just sit 'em down forcing to talk. Cause "I know they're not talking to their parents or embarrassed or you know, they don't want to go to a therapist like cuz that. "I might being deemed as crazy, but everyone needs to talk and "I. Think if you, if you just sit down a player or a group of players and just kinda let them rattle off. "I think they got a lot to say and "I think you'll learn a lot.

Luke:

Yeah, that's powerful. Just talk and get to know the people in the room and "I think teachers would love to do. But we're just bombarded with curriculum and standards and that's why "I love being out of the classroom as a coach because that's where "I really get to get to know people. "I wish we would allow teachers to be more intentional. To step away from the curriculum and maybe science. Absolutely. Science and math for five minutes isn't the most important thing, but they're not allowed to and that's why coaches are so important. So that that's a great point that you make I agree. And you brought up the bachelor piece and that is something that "I just wanna touch upon cuz I'm sure you did learn a lot about yourself. So what did that experience teach you about? And also just about people in general because, and "I applaud you for this I know everyone. Like, oh, "I want to be a reality television show star. But like, do you really, "I mean Do you really want to be that vulnerable for millions and millions of millions of people to critique you and seeing you in maybe one of your most vulnerable moments in life? So what did that experience teach you about you and people?

Andrew S:

I think for most part, it taught me that this macho, macho, I'm a man thing does not mean that you don't talk about your feelings and "I think the first song "I went on with a bachelor. "I was, you know, "I was just kind off playing football. "I like, "I ain't crying here. You kidding me? Like "I played football. Like you, you're a tough kid. "I think the more "I opened up and started just talking about my feelings was the first time "I finally felt. Free to just be able, who to be who "I wanted to be. Um, "I. Think also like you have no telephone, you have no radio, you have no tv. So all you have to do is talk "I. Think we've lost that a little bit. And families, uh, we probably and families go home and, to the dinner table. Everyone, someone's eating here, he's watching tv, someone's eating well on their phone and we've, we've lost. "I "I. That art of talking to people, like when we hung out, we just lounging, we talked to each other cause we didn't have tv like "I said, phones, radio, music, nothing. And "I think the beauty of that. "I came outta the show and "I was just so in tune with my feelings. And "I was so in tune with just being able to talk to anyone. my friends, whatever the case may be, whoever needed me, like "I was very open to be a listening ear because. "I "I. The stories "I heard on that show. Like everyone's got a terrible, everyone's got a a got it. Hard. You know, I'm listening to a guy who lost his wife to cancer. I'm listening to a guy who lost his dad two years ago, and I'm like, Lord, you know what "I mean? "I "I. You think you have it hard, but. Everyone's got a heart. But the fact that they're willing to share that with you is, is powerful beyond measure and "I think, you know, going from the Bachelor "I, think that's probably the, the best thing that's happened to me. Um, and like, you're gonna get criticized. Like, here's the thing, like I'm getting criticized every day. Still to this day, and everyone's like, how you're so loved. It doesn't matter. You know? People are out there to get you and it's always gonna be like that. Do not be afraid because some person might think this way and "I think My confidence from being off from being on the show is through the roof, because now "I know who "I am and "I can be myself and "I know that everyone's gonna have something bad about you, regardless of. "I way you might look or thought you might look. Not everyone's gonna like you and that's okay. Not everyone's supposed to like you. and "I think you just focus on the things that matter, you know, blocked in the, that's what "I love to say and "I think. That's what "I learned so much from. And "I think it's given me, you know, the clarity of who "I need to be hanging around and who, whose energy "I need to, focus my time on "I think. That's a huge thing for a lot of people. Um, people might be with the wrong energy and they need to shift and be with someone else. "I think you get that by actually talking to people and not, judging them based off of their social media presence or however they might be "I. Think you need to really just get hands on a little bit.

Luke:

The, theme that's coming out in every response that you have is communication and the power communication of human interaction and getting to know you and the person in front of you that you're looking at, and how many walls that could break down. And it's something that "I "I love about our profession. "I love getting to. The people you notice, "I didn't say athletes. "I love getting to know the people that "I coach because right, as much as "I hope to move the needle for them. most of them move the needle for me. So that's what keeps me going every day and meeting these awesome individuals and watching 'em go on and to do things, do great things in their life. So that communication piece, and you're right about block out the noise again, life is what we focus on. Control your input. Exactly. "I, if you notice that you're down, if you notice that you're not very inspired, look at what you're consuming throughout the day and change it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's how you could impact that transition to having a more positive, and like your mom said, smile. Right. Regardless of what's going on. Exactly. Smile man. You know, it all makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So thanks for, thanks for sharing that. And you know, "I know you and "I have talked, at length about, Coaching your career and maybe eventually getting inside of a school full-time. Hopefully you're with me full-time. "I. "I would love for us to, to be together throughout the, the rest of my career, however long that may be. As you mentioned, I'm a very young 47 year old for the record there. So, um, with that said, assuming you do make coaching, maybe even teaching your full-time career once, right? This, you know, you transitioned from the other, what you're doing right now. What do you think your purpose is? You know, I'm kind of putting you on the spot here, but "I think it's important as a coach to have a vision statement or a purpose statement and to know what drives your why. So putting you on the spot. Last question of this episode. What do you envision your purpose statement to be once you become a full-time coach?

Andrew S:

Um, and "I. Think people might be a little afraid of this, but "I think, still striving to. Fast version of who you are, completely past a hundred percent. You know what "I mean and just kind of giving it all, uh, everything. You got everything, you know, "I think football is one of those things where you have "I or if you have past experience in. "I. You just combine that all with new experiences and you just give everything you got. And it and "I think that's what I'm most excited about being a coach and, and just being the best, like, you know, I'm not afraid to, to say that "I wanna go out and win games and "I, "I, "I wanna be the best. Cause that's, that's why you do things in life, you know? not even just the best out of everyone, but the best in you. "I hope that everyone, every kid, that when they start doing sports and, and what "I can influence them is to just try and go out there and be their best. Cuz "I think "I did not do that growing up. And, you know, "I think that was my, my biggest Achilles heel. And now whatever "I do now is, is like, let me try to be the best "I can possibly be. because, you know, at the end of the day, "I, "I, "I. Focus on that. Everything will just come more easier to you. "I Think and "I. "I, just "I. Just blessed to be able to be in a position that "I and "I "I "I. "I more knowledgeable about the sport and more knowledgeable in life and "I think, um, the more that I've gotten that "I, think "I have just flipped a switch and "I think I'm just headed for, you know, just more, more blessings and you know, more opportunities to be able to be me, but also share me with someone else. And, you know, "I think that's like, that's ultimately what "I wanna do. "I wanna just give everything "I can, "I. Be the best "I "I can. So, for the most part, "I think that's where I'm headed as a coach. "I just, and "I love the, the game of football man, like Xs and os "I think is one of my favorite things to do. Uh, just finding a way to be some strategic mastermind. "I, "I love war. So "I, you know, "I look at it as going to war and "I. Think, um, "I hope, you know, the people in the room that "I think is the same way, like we have to. For a battle and "I, think "I love that aspect. It's, it's not, you know, obviously war, but the fact that you can just continue to do this every week, "I think is the best part. And it's kind of takes you back to just old time humans. And this is what they did. You know, they did war, they did battle. "I. Think we get to do that. The same way but in a, you know, obviously a lot safer way compared than what they're doing. "I, "I think it's amazing. It's just like in our nature a little bit to kind just look for that competitive, um, you know, just to "I "I enforce our will onto someone else. "I in a safe way obviously, but "I think that's what "I look forward to the most.

Luke:

Yeah, there's no doubt that wanting to win is okay. "I don't, "I don't feel like we need to be apologist for the fact that we wanna be the best. And "I and "I don't understand why some coaches maybe get a bad rap for that. Now, with that said, that just can't be. Your number one mantra. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like to me it's "I. It's an outcome of doing things the right way. If you care about people and you prioritize the person before the athlete, and you do things the right way as a coach, and he or she does right things as a student athlete. As you referenced earlier in this episode, "I think the outcome is, And that's okay. And it doesn't matter to me if it's a video game, pick up basketball or like you said, coaching, you should want to win. And it's okay to be competitive. "I mean "I, "I think we are doing a disservice to kids if we're not teaching them to go compete. And you have to have this internal motivation to, go be the best and, and "I get it.

Andrew S:

"I will, "I will say, One quote that you've ever, that you told me probably stuck with me. Uh, it's about competing, is we were at the, uh, Northwestern, camp and it was a bunch of athletes, a bunch of kids there, and you were like, You go find the best player and you go beat the best player. Like and "I. Think that was the one thing that fired all of us up. And you know, "I, I've kept that throughout my career. "I, "I. Think first day of camp when "I got to college, that was the first thing "I did. "I was like, all right, who's the best DB here? I'm gonna go try and beat the best db. So, "I. Appreciate that. "I. "I, "I Never told you that, but that's my favorite quote of yours, "I. Think it was, uh, it was probably the best one.

Luke:

Well, thank for sharing that. And "I, "I do think that's really important that we bestow upon the kids that we're in charge of now, right? If Yeah. "I. We have to challenge them to be the best. We have to not see where they're at. We need to see. Where they can be and who they can become. And our job is to help to push them to that moment. And it's getting harder and harder because there's just more distractions. "I mean the phones, the video games, the "I. The comparison that we're doing on social media, it's really becoming difficult. But that's also the impetus behind "I. Why I'm doing this podcast is so we could right share ideas and "I have all different ages, genders, sports, and just "I. Just feel like we all can learn from each other of how. We could help people become the best versions of themselves despite all of the negative inputs that are hitting us. But again, right. We have control of, so. Right. Um. Great episode. "I "I told you why had Yian. You really are a great coach. "I, have no doubt that you are going to impact and influence a lot of people. And like you were talking about the influences of your coaches and Mr. Edwards had on you. Someday there is going to be someone hopping on whatever the version of podcast is in 15 years. "I talking about Coach Spencer and impact you have. So keep doing it, man. You appreciate. You're really, really a influential person and you're gonna do right by a lot of kids. And "I, I'm proud of you, "I, love that you're on my staff. "I, that means more to me than you would ever understand. One day you will understand when maybe you become a head coach, but to have former players alongside with you coaching on the side. that inspires me. So thanks and appreciate giving up this Sunday morning to be on the "I Win Podcast and make sure you, thanks for having me. Make sure you shared this podcast to Bachelor Nation. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of, I'm sure there's a lot of crossover fans between the "I Win fans and, and Bachelor Nation. Oh, yeah. There's, there's

Andrew S:

so many. There's so for sure, "I I'll make sure they, uh, they get to see this for sure.

Luke:

All right, thanks Spence. And, uh, go Eagles, right,

Andrew S:

go Eagles. Thank you, appreci.